Breakdown
by zukoh
Summary: "I faked a smile while I looked at them. They were at the terrace hugging each other. Then the hug became into something else. A kiss. And that was the moment I knew it. Not as an assumption but as a fact. I lost her forever. - It was horrible. If I thought Azula's breakdown was the worst I ever saw, I was wrong. I broke down to never get up again."


The comet looked beautiful, you'd be a fool if you don't admit it. Badly it's used to drawn power, an infinite fire power that destroys it all.

Aang wass missing. Since last night nobody has saw him. He has disappeared. We searched him all over the Fire Nation's places we could. Katara went with Suki, Sokka with Appa and I went with Toph, who was telling me her life sob story. I felt bad for her, I wanted to help her. Since she told me that she and my uncle had a talk, the bond we had grew bigger than it already was. She was a good girl and it was sad how her parents never trusted her enough. Tiny? maybe. Fragile? Absolutely no.

However, we needed to focus on Aang. Bring peace and balance of the world was his duty. And that was the day when he were going to bring it finally, after 100 years of war. I know it sounded rough, but I needed to tel Toph that this field trip was for Aang and it was the primodial thing we needed to do. She huffed.

We haven't seen him by the time Katara and I borrowed Appa to go to the Fire Nation Royal Palace to defeat my sister.

I was so glad that she accepted to come with me. Since what happened at Ba Sing Se I wasn't able to forget her. She was the first person (besides my unvle) who I ever let touch my scar. She lifted her hand with hesitation, maybe wondering if she should go on or drop her hand. But she went on and I let her.

Why? My enemy. The Avatar's girl. Why I let _her_?

I closed my eyes at her touch, warm yet cold. I tilted my head a bit to let it rest on her hand.

_What are you doing Zuko?_

Maybe was the fact of her caring action. She was going to use her Spirit water on me. _"It has special properties, so I've been saving it for something important"_. Did getting rid of my scar was really that important?

Did she was really planning on waste it on me?

Was I really that important?

I've been out of love since my mother left. I actually had Lu Ten's, my uncle's and my mother's love. Then the only one left was my uncle. Don't get it wrong, I'm glad he's with me, It's just that Lu Teng and my mother were so important in my life. I loved them and they loved me. Then they left.

The this girl, who I've been chasing down for a year, who hates me, offers me to get rid of the scar that has been chasing me with memories, bad memories. Get rid of my horrible past. Start again and be free.

And I let it go.

Let a new start go along with her trust.

And I never forgave myself for that.

She trusted me and I took advantage of that.

I was looking at the comet when load of thoughts crossed my mind. _What if Aang can't do it? I've seen him. He's not able to kill no one, even the Fire Lord himself. What if he's not able to kill him? or worst, What if he's not ready to face him? and by that I mean, what if Ozai defeats him? _

My face must have betrayed me and my thoughts when Katara spoke.

"Zuko, Don't worry," I turned my head a little, enough to look at Katara. "We can take Azula."

_Azula. That's not the reason I'm worried. I'm not worried about her, I know that we can, with difficult but we can._

"I'm not worried about her," I begin. "I'm worried about Aang." I started to look around, looking for words to explain her "What if he doesn't have the guts to take off my father?" The I look at her again, preparing myself to say out loud the word I'm sure she won't like to hear. "What if he loses?"

"Aang won't lose. He's gonna come back"

Her face broke my heart. Not because she had a sad face, but because of the determination in her eyes.

But nothing has broke me like her next words.

"He has to."

Just those three words, and how she turned her head to the horizon, avoiding my gaze, and my world broke down. I felt my heart ache painfully. _Why?_ I was right before. She's the Avatar's girl and she'll never be mine. _What am I saying? Why am I talking like if she were some kind of property? she's not anyone property, not even Aang's._

I knew I lost her since my betray at Ba Sing Se. Why am I even disappoint? She'll never choose me over te Avatar. I betrayed her trust, help my sister kill the Avatar and sent "Combustion Man" to kill them, or at least the Avatar. But for a reason I felt that maybe I had a chance on her. But no. I always knew it couldn't be. _Then Why am I so disappointed?_

We landed and stopped Azula's coronation.

"Fine. You want to be Fire lord? Let's settle this. You and me, brother. The showdaw that was always meant to be. Agni Kai!"

I don't know what happened to her, but the look in her eyes was different and unknown. Maybe today destiny was, in fact, my friend.

"You're on."

Shi grinned.

"What are you doing?" The sweetest voice I ever heard spoke at my right side. "She's playing you. She knows she can't take us both so she's separating us."

I never left my gaze from Azula, not even when Katara spoke me. My face showed all the angry I had for Azula. My gaze was on her when I explained Katara.

"I know. But I can take her this time."

"But even you admitted to your uncle that you will need help facing Azula"

"There's something off about her. I can't explain it but she's slipping."

Finally I get to take my gaze off from Azula, just to stare at Katara this time.

"In this way, no one else has to get hurt."

But the meaning behind my words were _"In this way, you won't have to get hurt."_

She nodded and walked away from us. Azula and I prepared ourselves to fight. This fight will define part of the future of the Fire Nation. The rest will be defined at Aang's fight.

_"I'm sorry it has to end this way, Brother."_

_"No, you're not."_

It was a hard Battle. It was obvious how big the effect of the comet was on us the firebenders. I haven"t seen so much power on anyone, except maybe the Dragons.

_"No lightning today? what's the matter? Afrad I'll re-direct it?"_

_"Oh! I'll show you lightning!"_

I was prepared, of course. I was prepared to redirect her lightning. But I wasn't prepared for what happened.

It all seemed to happen on slow motion. Azula throwing her lightning, not to me but to one of the most important persons in my life. And I had to stop it. I don't even understand how I was able to reach the bolt so fast, but I did. I tried to redirect the bolt.

_"No!"_

But It was too late, maybe not for Katara but for me.

I fell on the floor. It was horrible how the feeling was, I can't even describe it. Now I understand how uncle felt when Azula shoot him.

_"Zuko!"_

Then a chuckle.

And more lightning.

Katara was in trouble, and it was all my fault. Like always

_I need to help her._

I lifted my hand and attempted to stand up, trying to reach her or at least throw a firebolt to Azula to stop her. But I started to shake and fell again. I was too weak at the time.

_I'm sorry Katara. I betrayed you again._

It hurted. It hurted so much. It hurted more than how I felt because of the lightning to not be able to help her this time.

But Katara managed to take Azula. Without killing her. Without getting hurt.

She came to me and healed me.

"Thank you, Katara"

"I think I'm the one who should be thanking you"

There were tears streaming down her face when she spoke. It was sad to see her cry, but this time she wasn't crying for sadness but for happiness, and I felt happy for it.

Simple. If she's sad, I'm sad. If she's Happy, I'm happy.

_Even if her happiness is with Aang._ That's the only thing that makes her Happy who doesn't makes my happy. I was happy because she was happy, but I was sad because that meant I lost her, forever.

She helped me to stood up. We stared at Azula who was throwing fire by her mouth and her nose. What I heared next also broke me down. She was crying. More like crying, she was sobbing. I never saw anyone sobbing like her. It was horrible to watch. She was having such a breakdown. It hurted me to see her crying. After all she's my sister and I still loved her. But as my uncle said, she's crazy and shee need to go down.

She's down now.

Everything is over now.

The Avatar defeated the Fire Lord without killing him.

He took his bending.

It was incredible. I couldn't imagine it when Sokka and Toph told me.

I was crowned King of the Fire Natin. I became the Fire Lord.

And I started to date with Mai again, but this time it wasn't because I kind of liked her but trying to find a way to forget Katara.

We were all at the Jasmine Dragon, my uncle's tea shop. Sokka was trying to "Capture the moment", failing at it, fo course. It's not the first time I saw his draws. He painted Suki Firebending, Katara with Momo's ears, Mai like a man and me like a boardupine.

After a moment I realized that two people were missing.

_Where are Katara and Aang?_

My heart squeezed painfully realizing that they might be together alone.

I faked a smile while I looked at them. They were at the terrace hugging each other. Then the hug became into something else.

A kiss.

And that was the moment I knew it. Not as an assumption but as a fact.

I lost her forever.

Years passed since that. I was at my room and Mai was at her house. I recived a Fire Nation hawk with a black ribbon. When I looked at the letter… that was the saddest moment in my whole life.

It was an invitation to a wedding. In fact, Katara and Aang's wedding.

With all the fury inside my ches I crumpled the invitation and threw it on the floor. I dropped to my knees and leaned my hands on the floor. My heart ached like never before, not even when I first saw them kissing. No, this was worst, way too worst.

Then I broke all my walls and cried. Y cried until those cries turned to sobs. I screamed and hit the grounds with my fists till they bled. I stood up, letting the sobs turns into anger. I grabbed everything I could and threw it in the ground. Everything was broken by the time I sitted on the floor, grabbing my head with my hands, and letting the anger turns into sobs again.

It was horrible.

If I thought Azula's breakdown was the worst I ever saw, I was wrong.

I broke down to never get up again.

* * *

**_This is my first Zutara fanfic. Actually, my first A:TLA fanfic ever, So I will be really glad if you leave your opinion._**

**_You can find this story in my tumblr also with some fanfic suggestions to read I update every week. If you want to take a look you are very welcome. .com_**

**_P.S. The English is not my native language, so if you find mistakes, please tell me :)_**

**_Thank you for reading._**


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